I heard this joke courtesy of my father-in-law:
A top surgeon was braggin' in the pub about how he'd saved the hands of one of his patients that day. They'd lost all their fingers in an accident and they have now fully recovered as a concert pianist.
Well, that's not as good as my patient - he lost both his legs in an accident and now, after being reattached, he's a hundred meter medalist!!!
The third guy looks at the both of them and says they're nothing in comparison to what he'd done. A man was riding his horse down the railway tracks and a train, coming in the opposite direction, hit him leaving only the horses arse and a cowboy hat as the remains. The doctor proudly announces - he's now President of the United States!!